When the time gets near
for me to show my love
The longer I stayed away for
Hiding from a word I need to hear now
Don't think I'll hear it again
But the nights were always warm with you
Holding you right by my side (right by my side)
But the morning always comes too soon
Before I even close my eyes
All I do each night is pray
Hoping that I'll be a part of you someday
All I do each night is think
Of the times I closed the door to keep my love within
If you can't forgive the past
I'll understand that
Can't understand why I did this to you
And all of the days and the nights
Ok I'll regret it
I never showed you my love
But the nights were always warm with you
Holding you right by my side (right by my side)
But the monring always comes too soon
Before I even close my eyes
All I do each night is pray
Hoping that I'll be a part of you someday
All I do each night is think
Of the times I closed the door to keep my love within
Surly we must be in sight
Of the dream we long to live
If you stop and close your eyes
You'll picture me inside
I'm so cold and all alone
Straigh on back to me
All I do each night is pray
Hoping that I'll be a part of you someday
All I do each night is think
Of the times I closed the door to keep my love within
nih lagu enakssss banget!!!!!
kata-kata itu
recently, i heard couple of words that make me wondering what would I do if I'm missing those words..simple words actually but a lot of meaning inside it..
hati2 ya di jalan -- jgn cape2 -- tadi makan pake apa -- sekarang lagi dimana -- met pagiii - udah mau brgkt kantor ya -- lagi apa -- sibuk ya -- maaf ya -- makasih ya buat hari ini --
ada juga sih yg lain tapi mgkn kata2 di atas yang membuat aku bpikir, Ya Allah do I deserve a second chance of love?? ato kah mgkn semua itu cinta?? aku sebenernya takut, aku gak mau lagi jatuh utk kesekian kalinya,,aku hanya bisa berdoa, Ya Allah jika memang Kau pertemukan aku dgn jodohku, yakinkan aku bahwa dia memang yg terbaik utk hidupku di masa depan..jadikan Ia suami dan ayah yang baik utk keluargaku kelak..jadikan Ia tetap anak yang baik untuk orang tuanya dan anak yang baik untuk orang tuaku,,do I ask to much for a better life??
wlpn mkgn gak ada jalan yang mudah utk bisa aku lewati tapi aku janji aku akan lakukan yang terbaik utk masa depanku..gak tau lah kalo sekarang dibilang pengen jatuh cinta, pengen banget tapi takut juga kecewa,,kalo aku takut, trus gmn jadinya?????
soNg of mY life recentLY
Sara Bareilles - Love Song
Head under water and they tell me
To breathe easy for awhile
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me, it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well
But you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
All you have is leaving
I'm gon' need a better reason
To write you a love song today, today
I learned the hard way that they all say
Things you wanna hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under
You and your twisted words
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'ma need a better reason
To write you a love song today
Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way
You can love me because I say
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song?
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason
To write you a love song today, today
Head under water and they tell me
To breathe easy for awhile
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me, it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well
But you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
All you have is leaving
I'm gon' need a better reason
To write you a love song today, today
I learned the hard way that they all say
Things you wanna hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under
You and your twisted words
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'ma need a better reason
To write you a love song today
Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way
You can love me because I say
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you ask for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song?
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason
To write you a love song today, today
Chris Brown - Forever
1, 2, 3, 4
Hey! Hey!
Forever
Hey! Hey!
Forever
It's you and me
Moving at the speed of light into eternity
Tonight is the night
To join me in the middle of ecstasy
Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music
Around you, around you
I'ma take you there, I'ma take you there
So don't be scared, I'm right here, ready?
We can go anywhere, go anywhere
But first, it's your chance, take my hand, come with me
It's like I waited my whole life for this one night
It's gon' be me, you and the dance floor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure, double your fun
And dance forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever
(Forever)
Ever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever on the dance floor
Feels like were on another level
Feels like our love's intertwined
We can be two rebels
Breaking the rules, me and you, you and I
All you gotta do is watch me
Look what I can do with my feet
Baby, feel the beat inside
I'm driving, you could take the front seat
Just need you to trust me, oh oh oh
It's like now
It's like I waited my whole life for this one night
It's gon' be me, you and the dance floor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure, double your fun
And dance forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever
(Forever)
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever on the dance floor
It's a long way down, we so high off the ground
Sending for an angel to bring me your heart
Girl, where did you come from? Got me so undone
Gaze in your eyes got me saying
What a beautiful lady, no ifs, ands or maybes
I'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing
There's no one else that matters, you love me
And I won't let you fall girl, let you fall girl
I won't let you fall, let you fall, let you fall
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
It's like I waited my whole life for this one night
It's gon' be me you and the dance floor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure, double your fun
And dance forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever
(Forever)
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever-ever-ever
Forever on the dance floor
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh yeah
Forever-ever-ever-ever
Forever-ever oh
2.6
quite suprising, dapet selamet dari banyak orang..mantan2 pacar,,hehehe..keluarga, temen2 lama, smp, sma, kuliah, Bank Niaga,,yaaa banyak lah..intinya sih doa2 mereka yg lebih penting..amiin..I just wish for a better future and a brand new better me...this year no bday present,,but I glad when I woke up, I found myself alive..it was the best bday present ever,,means I have another opportunity to change my life..amiin,,makasih ya Allah udah ngasih aku satu lagi kesempatan merasakan ulang tahun.
23juLi ini
today, work as usual n feeling no good all days...tapi aku lgsg sholat aja n minta Allah SWT menguatkan aku,,menyampaikan salamku pada orang2 yg aku sayang..kamuuu....
iya kamu, kamu dan kamu..hehehe,,kamu yg mana ya??bingung, ngacooo...
21juLi
hari ini hari Senin, seperti biasa kerjaan selalu ada..hari ini badanku agak gak enak. semalem abis tahajud, gak bisa tidur lagi,,baru tidur mgkn hampir jam 3,,eiiii bangunnya kesiangan, hampir jam setengah 7..coba utk brasa hepi tiap hari ternyata berat juga ya,,harus mikirin banyak hal, mengerjakan banyak hal, gak ada cinta yg nemenin aku tiap hari ternyata berat juga,,tapi aku takut kecewa apalgi karena cinta..aku butuh sosok yang bisa ngejagain gak cuma hatiku tapi juga hidupku,,it might be you, you who aren't exist yet..apakah bahagia harus aku dapatkan setelah semua hal yg terjadi pd hidupku di masa lalu? apakah iya aku akan bahagia?
aku gak mgkn jadi wonder woman yg bisa benar2 kuat,,aku hanya butuh seseorang yg jauuuuh lebih kuat dari aku,,supaya qta bisa sama2 bpegangan menghadapi badai hidup..ketika aku merasa aku pengen berlabuh, tapi kapal itu blum cukup yakin membawaku dalam bagian perjalanannya..dalam sholat aku cuma berdoa, Ya Allah jika kau pertemukan aku dgn jodohku, tolong pertemukan dalam waktu yg tepat, tolong yakinkan bahwa dia memang baik utk kehidupanku dan kehidupan keluarga kami di depan, tolong berikan kami berdua kekuatan utk bisa bertahan memperjuangkan mimpi kami berdua...amiiin...tunjukkan jalan itu Ya Allah, supaya aku gak lagi takut kayak gini,,maafkan utk semua kekhilafaanku yg membuat-Mu memberikan aku makna hidup yg benar2 gak pernah aku duga sebelumnya,,aku gak boleh menyesal kan? aku harus tetap bersyukur bahwa aku sampai saat ini masih diberikan kesempatan utk bisa bertahan hidup..wlpn blum ada cinta yg menjaga aku, tapi aku masih pny Allah SWT yg selalu memberikan aku kekuatan yg luar biasa,, keluarga yg selalu menerima aku wlpn kesalahanku sudah banyak sekali, teman2 yg selalu peduli padaku dgn cara mereka sendiri,,alhamdulillah...dan buat cinta yg kunanti, aku pasti tunggu kali ini dan aku akan lebih ikhlas..aku akan tunggu kamu, ya kamu yg ada ada disana yg aku rasa sudah dekat dgn hidupku wlpn aku gak tau siapa kamu...amiiiin..
life just have to move on, no matter what,,and I always prepare for the worst would happen,,berikan aku kekuatan, Ya Allah..
bangun pagi hari minggu
sebenernya sih gak pagi2 amat gw bangun,,masih ngantuk karena semalem baru bisa bener2 merem jam satuan..tapi y udah lah, since we have a "arisan" today, gw harus bangun dan bberes rumah..udah untung gak ikutan masak, bisa tambah bete ajah ogut..hihihi,,masak?? kebayang gak sih gw masak? rasanya bakalan keribetan gw merancang bumbu2nya..yah someday lah bakalan bisa masak jg gw..amiin..yg penting sih moga2 suami n keluarganya gak "mengharuskan" gw bisa masak yg bener,,
weiiitsss ngomong2 soal suami2an..sebenernya bukan pengen cepet kawin sih biasa aja, cuma seneng aja membangun mimpi ttg kawin,,semalem gw belajar bnyk hal ttg menyakiti dan disakiti. Setiap orang isi kepalanya gak sama bahkan dgn sodara sekandung pun,,hal2 yg buat diri kita itu bukan masalah, bisa aja buat orang lain jadi masalah..I'm not saying I'm the right person of everything, it's just that I prepare for anything worst would happen..bukan juga artinya gw main2, tapi segala sesuatu perlu diperjuangkan sampe titik darah penghabisan, but if in the end there's no way out to solve the problem, we as a human being should be thankful that we've been given opportunity to try to fixed problems that come to us...
udah lah, I'm not in the mood of discussing this thing today..eniwei, soal Arisan, wah bakalan ada keponakan2 ku tersayang..Caca dan karin,,I'll the share the pic later on yakss...now, I'm going to take a bath, since my Mom keep on asking why I still stay in front of the compi. See you then....well, have a nice monday everyone...
anoTher day
udah bulan Juli niih..gila rasanya baru kemaren taon baruan but it has reached half a year,,banyak hal yg masih jadi PR buat gw,,kadang rasanya merasa putus asa, gmn ya biar bisa beres semua urusan gw...tapi gw berusaha optimis aja karena kalo udah gak pny semangat lagi gmn kita ngejalanin hidup kita? seneng juga bisa update blog, as I used to do..di kantor emang gak bs onlen setiap saat, lagian juga gak mgkn sempet..
kerjaan di kantor menyenangkan sampai saat ini, kalo kadang cape karena badan gw yg "menjerit" minta istirahat, insya allah sih masih bisa jaga kesehatan biar gak sampe sakit,,amiiin...kita bisa sakit juga karena diri kita sendiri yang membuatnya sakit, coba kalo kita inget makan wlpn cuma sedikit2, trus tidur berkualitas wlpn cuma beberapa jam, ilangin penyakit hati kayak jutek, iri ma orang lain, mengeluh, tidak menyakiti orang lain dan membiarkan orang lain menyakiti kita.....ya pokoknya dibawa aja happy hidup kita jadinya kita juga bisa menikmati hidup ini dan pastinya gak perlu sakit..
yesterday, I took a great lesson..it came when I had a chat wih my new friend, he's not told me anything, he just gave me proof that yes, I have another chance to falling in love but I just have to be more realistic to what I must choose,,actually, I'm affraid to fall in love over again..this time I'm affraid to put my heart and life to man..
today, another day comes...still, I the same old me,,tapi gw bersyukur, kualitas hidup gw makin berkembang setiap harinya,,blum jadi baik banget sih tapi gw belajar banyak hal utk gw jadiin acuan gmn ya kalo menghadapi sesuatu hal,,masih banyak salah juga sih tapi gpp lah, being mature is about how we can learn to fix mistakes,,,
bulan depan gw 26 tahun...Ya Allah, cepet amat ya,,blum kawin juga?!!! uppsss, it was my biggest dream..tapi as time goes by, gw menyadari gw harus berhati2 menentukan langkah hidup gw..kalo mau nyesel atas apa yg gw alami in my past, rasanya gw pengen banget bilang bahwa : "I've got years of nothing"!!! tapi kan gak boleh gitu, wlpn banyak mimpi gw yga belum bisa gw dapetin tapi kan I have a lot years to come alias masih banyak kesempatan,,tapi kan tergantung kita juga bisa dan mau gak kita manfaatin kesempatan2 yg dateng ke kita...kita suka lupa ma apa yg udah dikasih ma kita dan ketika itu juga kita sering buang kesempatan2 yg dateng kita..blum tentu lagi kesempatan itu dateng ke kita....
waktu gw ketrima di kerjaan gw sekarang, dilema banget karena ada yg gak setuju ma keputusan gw, tapi gw bpikir bahwa as long as I feel this good for my life I will run for it no matter what will happen....akhirnya dgn ihklas kita bisa melangkah pasti wlpn kita juga gak tau apa aja constraint yg ada di depan kita. Gak mgkn kan kita mau milih gak pny hambatan di depan,,justru dgn semua constraint itu kita dilatih utk bisa lebih dewasa, bijaksana menentukan langkah dalam hidup kita..
kerjaan di kantor menyenangkan sampai saat ini, kalo kadang cape karena badan gw yg "menjerit" minta istirahat, insya allah sih masih bisa jaga kesehatan biar gak sampe sakit,,amiiin...kita bisa sakit juga karena diri kita sendiri yang membuatnya sakit, coba kalo kita inget makan wlpn cuma sedikit2, trus tidur berkualitas wlpn cuma beberapa jam, ilangin penyakit hati kayak jutek, iri ma orang lain, mengeluh, tidak menyakiti orang lain dan membiarkan orang lain menyakiti kita.....ya pokoknya dibawa aja happy hidup kita jadinya kita juga bisa menikmati hidup ini dan pastinya gak perlu sakit..
yesterday, I took a great lesson..it came when I had a chat wih my new friend, he's not told me anything, he just gave me proof that yes, I have another chance to falling in love but I just have to be more realistic to what I must choose,,actually, I'm affraid to fall in love over again..this time I'm affraid to put my heart and life to man..
today, another day comes...still, I the same old me,,tapi gw bersyukur, kualitas hidup gw makin berkembang setiap harinya,,blum jadi baik banget sih tapi gw belajar banyak hal utk gw jadiin acuan gmn ya kalo menghadapi sesuatu hal,,masih banyak salah juga sih tapi gpp lah, being mature is about how we can learn to fix mistakes,,,
bulan depan gw 26 tahun...Ya Allah, cepet amat ya,,blum kawin juga?!!! uppsss, it was my biggest dream..tapi as time goes by, gw menyadari gw harus berhati2 menentukan langkah hidup gw..kalo mau nyesel atas apa yg gw alami in my past, rasanya gw pengen banget bilang bahwa : "I've got years of nothing"!!! tapi kan gak boleh gitu, wlpn banyak mimpi gw yga belum bisa gw dapetin tapi kan I have a lot years to come alias masih banyak kesempatan,,tapi kan tergantung kita juga bisa dan mau gak kita manfaatin kesempatan2 yg dateng ke kita...kita suka lupa ma apa yg udah dikasih ma kita dan ketika itu juga kita sering buang kesempatan2 yg dateng kita..blum tentu lagi kesempatan itu dateng ke kita....
waktu gw ketrima di kerjaan gw sekarang, dilema banget karena ada yg gak setuju ma keputusan gw, tapi gw bpikir bahwa as long as I feel this good for my life I will run for it no matter what will happen....akhirnya dgn ihklas kita bisa melangkah pasti wlpn kita juga gak tau apa aja constraint yg ada di depan kita. Gak mgkn kan kita mau milih gak pny hambatan di depan,,justru dgn semua constraint itu kita dilatih utk bisa lebih dewasa, bijaksana menentukan langkah dalam hidup kita..
oVer it..
over it..over it..pertama-nya takut tapi gw gak bsia terus2an begini, merasakan kegalauan meradang yg gak akan pernah hilang sampe sisa hidup gw,,then I took that big step...crying in front of him and crying in my room,,and the next day, I became a big girl again..no more cry and just realize that there are a lot of things to do!!
for the first time in my life I'm not afraid of being alone...karena sekarang gw jadi harus lebih berhati2 menentukan langkah hidup gw,,mencari hal2 yg bisa membuat gw jadi orang yg lebih baik di kehidupan gw mendatang..yg udah berlalu, jadi pelajaran berharga dan gak boleh di sesali sedikit pun,,
sendiri, menjadi lebih dewasa..
sendiri, menjadi berani mengambil keputusan
sendiri, utk belajar dari kesalahan
sendiri, utk belajar banyak hal baru
sendiri, utk lebih tahu diri
yg pasti sendiri utk bisa jadi orang yg lebiiiiiiiih baiiiik...
semua pasti aka n baik2 aja, karena kita akan mendapatkan apa seharusnya kita dapatkan..jadi gw gak perlu takut!!!
sendiri, menjadi lebih dewasa..
sendiri, menjadi berani mengambil keputusan
sendiri, utk belajar dari kesalahan
sendiri, utk belajar banyak hal baru
sendiri, utk lebih tahu diri
yg pasti sendiri utk bisa jadi orang yg lebiiiiiiiih baiiiik...
semua pasti aka n baik2 aja, karena kita akan mendapatkan apa seharusnya kita dapatkan..jadi gw gak perlu takut!!!
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